are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
