She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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