This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
