If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
