he thought i was a dude.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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