so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
