I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there was a trapeze. enough said
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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