it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
