Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She said her name was "party"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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