I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
