it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
