just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Where is the hickey?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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