I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
