DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
