Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
