Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
