ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
