I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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