I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think people are normalizing furries
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