the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
