no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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