why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
