Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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