I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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