Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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