Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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