You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
