so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
