Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
