yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
