remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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