how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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