I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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