Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
