Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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