I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
its liver damage thursday
Randomize