Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
