Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize