I wish you could order shots online.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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