You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
