So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
