Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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