I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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