my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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