but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dicks are not precious.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
