i just google imaged poop.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
