yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
