The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
