Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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