my mouth tastes like poor choices
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
