btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
