I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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