Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
