That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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