I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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