You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
