is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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