I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
