You're a womanizer and a bitch.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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