That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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