you win again, gameday.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
