she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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