i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
