I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize