oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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