I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
